Craigslist sellers hurt my head

"Stapleface-Now Hyphenated!" (patrickgruden)
03/27/2019 at 06:22 • Filed to: None

Does anyone here speak... I dunno, whatever language this is

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DISCUSSION (22)

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated!
03/27/2019 at 06:32

Yep. The car i s pissed and broke. CP.

pip bip - choose Corrour > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated!
03/27/2019 at 06:42

i’m not a knuckle-scraping mouth breather.

so no

Flavien Vidal > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated!
03/27/2019 at 06:43

“shell only” followed by “no smoke or oil burning”... If the car has no engine , I’d easily believe that.

jimz > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated!
03/27/2019 at 06:51

Can’t help you, I don’t speak “19 year old dumbass.”

Khalbali > Flavien Vidal
03/27/2019 at 07:23

Also “runs and drives”.

Not that I want to become a foremost authority on dumbass-translatin g but I think he meant the shell only has 115k meaning not original engine and/or trans.

facw > Flavien Vidal
03/27/2019 at 07:48

I think “ 7 out of 10 shell“ and “ only has 115k” are separate thoughts. A pi ty that there’s no way in the English language to isolate ideas so they’ll be clearly understood.

Also, hey people were looking for you: Hmmm...anybody seen Flavien?

CalzoneGolem > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated!
03/27/2019 at 07:57

VIN: Jdm

Classic

facw > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated!
03/27/2019 at 08:03

My translation (I’m not fully fluent in idiot, so please don’t buy sight unseen based on my attempt):

D15b: VTEC just kicked in yo

runs an drives: Runs and drives (probably poorly, and in a way that does not allow the car to pass emissions)

5 speed: Probably needs a replacement clutch

has eg seats don’t fit interior: Original interior ruined. Owner couldn’t be assed to find seats that at least looked right.

7 out of 10 shell: See how the bodywork is mismatched and dented and the paint on the roof is ruined ? The owner is delusional enough to think that it is acceptable conditionwise.

only has 115k: Decent chance the odometer is broken, but if not, this beat and abused car has only been beat or abused for 115,000 miles (not that they’ll show you an interior photo of the cluster). Note: Khalbali thinks this might be saying the shell only has 115k which is possible, but seems just as unlikely.

on Honda fits: Has some possibly stolen wheels.

an needs paint: Hood, fender, bumper, and fuel door don’t match the decaying blue of the rest of the car.

no smoke or oil burning: Check whether it has any oil before purchase.

possible trades lmk: The owner wants to be inundated with terrible trade offers.

WilliamsSW > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated!
03/27/2019 at 08:11

The vape aroma is strong with this one

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated!
03/27/2019 at 08:58

Oh man, I’ve been watching Honda Craigslist for a while now, been doing an immersion-style learning experience. Let me try my hand on translating.

Original text:

D15b runs an drives 5 speed has eg seats don’t fit interior 7 out of 10 shell only has 115k on Honda fits an needs paint no smoke or oil burning possible trades lmk

Transliteration:

This CRX has a D15B engine (note: this year was offered with various D15 engines; the “base” DX model came with 16 valve D15B2, while “fuel efficient (ie, slow)“ HF trim with D15B6.) and a 5 speed transmission. It also has seats from an EG (5th) generation Civic, but they don’t fit. (This generation CRX was based on the 4th generation Civic) The interior is 7/10* and the chassis itself has only 115k miles on it.** The car needs paint*** but doesn’t smoke or burn oil. I’m open to trades (for guns).

Contextual Translation:

This is a mostly rust free 1991 CRX chassis. I swapped the engine and transmission for a low-mile junkyard one in my garage. It has a D15B engine but I don’t know which one. The interior is beat and it needs new seats. The engine doesn’t burn oil but I still have to top it off every couple hundred miles, but I don’t know why. No lowballers, I know what I’ve got.

Appendix A, Footnotes

*The interior is not shown in photos. This implies that it is actually nonexistant.

**Chassis mileage being given means yes, this was totally swapped.

***The photos clearly show no less than 3 colors. This implies heavy front end damage or that this was at some point a parts car.

Eury - AFRICA TWIN!!!!!!! > CalzoneGolem
03/27/2019 at 09:04

One of those rare JDM cars with the steering wheel on the left, yo.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated!
03/27/2019 at 09:25

He doesn’t know what he’s saying, but he knows what he’s got.

I’m from Joisey. You from Joisey?

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated!
03/27/2019 at 09:26

Kinja'd!!!

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated!
03/27/2019 at 09:33

Original text:

D15b runs an drives 5 speed has eg seats don’t fit interior 7 out of 10 shell only has 115k on Honda fits an needs paint no smoke or oil burning possible trades lmk

Translation :

Crap can.

MUSASHI66 > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated!
03/27/2019 at 09:45

50% of Americans can’t read over 8th grade level. They probably can’t write any better as well, so posts like these are not a surprise.

That said, what in the actual fuck is that ad trying to convey? Is the car a shell or does it run? It has eg seats but they don’t fit? I mean, that means it doesn’t have seats installed and has some random car seats in a shed. Is it using Honda Fit wheels? So many questions...

Flavien Vidal > Khalbali
03/27/2019 at 10:03

I think h e meant shell only as in “the interior was stripped out”... but then again, I don’t speak dumb fluently soooooo :D

Flavien Vidal > facw
03/27/2019 at 10:06

Damn, didn’t think people were looking for me haha :)

Khalbali > Flavien Vidal
03/27/2019 at 10:07

Also a possible translation.

Phew, I really didn't want to be the idiot whisperer.

Flavien Vidal > Khalbali
03/27/2019 at 10:15

hahaha we’re both just doing the spa ghetti monster’s work here, trying to figure out what they want to say :)

CalzoneGolem > SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media
03/27/2019 at 13:44

Also ... so is the seller.

NojustNo > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated!
03/27/2019 at 21:21

Better than average ad. T he seller actually put the word Honda and CRX in the ad ! most sellers just put the chassis code and that’s it.

Dr Freeze > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated!
03/28/2019 at 04:33

Th e real question is why. Why why why why why. My time here has been wasted. Moving along.